Bath Time
by Half-Blood wannabe
Summary: When Hidan refuses to take a bath what dose Konan do to get him to take one? his and others bath time thingies! find out what our favorite villains do during their bath times! read at your own risk! rated t to be safe. no smut! on hiatus will update soon.
1. Chapter 1

**This was written out of boredom. Inspired by my sisters asking for a bubble bath. I don't own any thing! Enjoy! **

**BATH TIME **

There was a certain time of day when it was mandatory for every member of the Akatsuki (the evil organization bent on capturing all of the tailed beast and total world domination) to go about their ways with their personal hygiene. A.K.A, bath time. But one day, a certain foul mouthed S-ranked missing-nin (who just came back from a mission and was extremely dirty) decided, "You know what? I'm not going to take a f#*ing bath to day!", now this made a certain blued haired female member very displeased.

Konan, the only female member of the organization, feared that if it weren't for her by now every one would have fleas. You see, Konan was the one who enforced the "bath time" rule. She couldn't stand it when all of the members were together, but all smelled extremely bad. So, I dare you to guess how Konan was felling when she saw a dirty, smelly Hidan walking around.

"Hidan! You smell terrible! You just came back from your mission, so you might not know, but it's "that time" of night," Konan told Hidan-keeping her distance- as she spotted/smelled him coming down the hall.

"I know perfectly well what time it is b3#$," said Hidan with a sneer, "I just 'aint goin' to do it today. I'm tired."

At this, Konan was pissed at the fact that Hidan was deifying her. She forgot the fact that he smelled and walk strait up to him. Standing so close she was practically standing on his feet, she put her hands on her hips, and looked up at him and said, " oh really?"

"Yeah really," he answered looking down at her.

At this point all the other members had formed a circle around the pair in the dimly lit hallway, expecting to see a fight. Pein A.K.A Leader-Sama, who was standing behind Konan, met Kakuzu eyes and gave a little nod. They new they needed to stop things before they went too far. They, both, were about to grab their partners and go, when Konan grabbed a fist full of Hidan's cloak, and pulled him down so her mouth was right by his ear. She whispered some thing un-decipherable, even with all the members straining to hear them.

Konan let go of his cloak and Hidan straitened up, looked at her strait faced, except for an odd look that flashed across his eyes. He gave Konan a little nod and walked away. Konan huffed and straitened up brushing off her cloak, a smug look on her face. Then she noticed the other members staring at her. Pein was looking at her, open mouthed, eye-brows arced, a slight blush staining his checks.

"What," Konan asked, looking at her comrades. "W-w-what did you just say to Hidan," Pein stuttered. She donned a perplexed looked, and then realization lit up in her eyes.

"You think I said something perverted to him, don't you," she asked, looking around, "you sick minded freaks." Now every one was blushing.

"Well then what did you say to him, hm," asked Deidara.

"I just needed to offer him something he couldn't resist to get him to take a bath," said Konan with a shrug.

"And what would be this "something" be," Itachi asked, raising an eye-brow.

"Well Weasel," she said and Itachi's raised eye-brow twitched (man, he hated when she called him that *Itachi means weasel*!), "I would tell you, but…. I swore an oath of secrecy," she said with a scoff. And at that she pushed past the still blushing Pein, and headed back to her room(s) (I don't know how many she has! Sorry!).

Pein still staring after Konan was awakened from his daze by a loud shout.

"Pein! Did you hear what I just said," Kisame screamed in his ear.

"Hm? Oh, no I didn't," Pein answered.

"I say we find out what this "something" is," Kisame whispered.

"**Oh no!** _Were not getting involved with this_," Zetsu said.

"I agree, even though I hate him, I think even Hidan deserves his privacy," Kakuzu agreed, "and besides, I don't want to go agents Konan."

And with that Kakuzu and Zetsu took their leave, leaving Pein, Kisame, Deidara, Tobi, Itachi, and Sasori (yes, he's alive!) standing in the hallway to plot their plan to find out what this "something" was.

"I think we should use one of those little spy cam's, send it up the bath drain to find out what he's doing," Kisame suggested.

"No, no, that wouldn't work. First of all we don't have one. Second of all none of us would no how to use it," Pein stated, scratching his chin trying to figure out what to do. Now, you might be asking yourself, _now why are Pein, Itachi, and Sasori of all people doing this? _Well, Itachi was miffed at Konan for calling him weasel, so he was doing it out of spite. Pein did not like it when people (especially his partner) kept secrets from him, so that's why he was doing it. And Sasori, well, what can I say, he was bored.

"I have an idea," Deidara said, "We could just blow up the bath room!"

"Stupid brat. If we blow it up we'll never know," Sasori sneered.

"Sasori's right," Pein agreed and Deidara grumbled.

"Oh, oh! Leader-Sama! Tobi has a good idea," Tobi was practically jumping up and down, trying to get Pein attention. Everyone inwardly sighed.

"Go ahead, Tobi," Pein sighed, putting his hand to his forehead and closing his eyes, preparing for the worst.

"Well, first we need to get a digital camera, then we run to the bathroom, break down the door, jump in, and then take a picture of whatever it is!"

"Tobi that is the single most-," Pein was rubbing his temples when he abruptly stopped in mid-sentence, eyes popping open. Did Tobi just have a _decent_ idea? No he couldn't have! Pein, like everyone else, just stared mystified at him.

"… what the hell….," Deidara stated lamely, staring at Tobi in a horrified awe.

"It's so stupidly simple it just might work," Itachi said wide eyed.

"KISS!" Tobi screamed!

"Pardon?" Sasori asked, eye-brows raised.

"Keep, it, simple, stupid!" Tobi explained happily

"O.K then… we'll go with Tobi's idea. I guess…" Pein said.

"Yay!" Tobi cheered.

And so, with their plan complete, they set out to find the right materials to set their plan into motion.

They met back up in the same hallway half an hour later. They had set off in pairs (with the exception of Deidara, Sasori, and Tobi in a group of 3 and Pein who did surprisingly nothing) to gather the need materials. Itachi and Kisame had gone to get Kisame's steal toed boots so he could knock down the door. While Deidara, Tobi, and Sasori went to get a digital camera to take the picture with.

"Do we have everything we need?" Pein asked his small group of men.

"Yes sir," they said in union, and Deidara held up the video camera while Kisame held his foot out for his comrades to see his shiny steel toed boots.

"Good. The lets move out people," and at that the small group started the trek through the ever winding hallways to Hidan's bathroom.

Once there, the group formed a semi-circle around the door. With Kisame standing in the center a few steps away from the door. He looked behind him at Pein, who gave the signaling nod, and he closed the small place between him and the door, and kicked it, dead center.

_**Boom! **_A ground shaking sound shook the bath room floor.

"What the f*$k," Hidan cursed, having to hold on to the sides of the bathtub to steady him self.

Then all went quiet. A few seconds latter though, there was a creaking sound and he looked up to see the bathroom door slowly falling inwardly, landing with a solid _**thunk **_on the tiled floor. Dust and wood chips were floating in the air clouding his vision. But he could see six figures silhouetted by the dim hallway light.

"Move in!" commanded Pein. They shuffled in, in a single file line. But hey were not prepared for what they were about to see. There, in all his glory, was Hidan, sitting in the bathtub filled with…prepare yourself 'cause this is epic….. Hidan was sitting in the filled with… bubble bath. Yes, bubble bath. Yes Hidan, the s-ranked foul mouthed criminal, was taking a bubble bath. Oh, but no, not just any normal bubble bath, the bubble's were a deep purple color, just like the color of his eyes.

He just sat there, and they just stood in the broken door way, staring at each other. Then they all burst out laughing (except Hidan, of course). They were laughing so hard that Deidara and Kisame fell to the floor busting their guts. Even Pein, Itachi, and Sasori were laughing.

"The hell you doin'!" Hidan was screaming at the top of his lungs, beginning to clime out of the bath tub.

"Oh, oh Tobi! Take the picture! Quick," Deidara choked out. And as fast as you can say monkey's uncle Tobi whipped out the camera, and took the picture. Then even faster, they hightailed it out of there. Hidan grabbed a towel, rapped it around his waist and started to chase them.

"Get back here you bast#4d's!" Hidan screamed chasseing them with his scythe.

"Run! Run!" they screamed.

Inside the base Zetsu, Kakuzu, and Konan were watching the whole thing. And they were recording it with a video camera.

"That's what you get when you go agents me!" Konan sneered.

"And for making me pay for a new door," Kakuzu added.

"_**Ha ha, **__this is fun,"_ Zetsu laughed.

And that my, dear friends is only one of the story of the Akatsuki's bath time routines.

**Well? Did you like it? Please review! Constructive criticism is welcome! But please, no flames! **


	2. Chapter 2

**I'mmmmmmmmmmm Baaaaaaaaaaaack! Muh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Enjoy the next chapters (yes there will be more)! Special thanks to tigers-and-dragons for all her great ideas and helping me co-write these next few chapters! Don't own anything!**

**Chapter 2: Revenge starts now!**

Hidan was still fuming about the "incident" that occurred the night before (you know the one with the bubbles) when a hand reached out of a dark corner in the dimly lit hallway and dragged him into the shadows.

"What the fu-," Hidan was cut off by a soft _shush_!

"Don't make a sound, you idiot," said a very recognizable voice.

"Kakuzu!" he tried to scream his partner's name in outrage, but it was muffled by his partner's hand.

"Just listen," he whispered-still covering Hidan's mouth-bending down, so his mouth was right by his ear, "come to Konan's room at eight tonight." And with that the hand was gone, as well as the rest of his partner.

_What the hell…_Hidan wondered. What did Kakuzu and Konan want from him?

_**Several hours later**_….

_Here we go… _Hidan took a deep breath then opened the door to Konan's room. It turns out it was not only Kakuzu and Konan. Zetsu was there as well.

"Welcome, please sit down," said Konan, gesturing to a spot on the floor near herself and the other two (3).

"I already took my bath today," Hidan said, still standing awkwardly in the doorway.

"Oh, I know," she answered (please don't ask how she knows. She has her ways).

"Uh… Um..," he mumbled, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

"It's about last night," she stated bluntly.

"Oh."

What she said next surprised him. "I want to help you get revenge."

He stared at her, Dumbstruck, his violet eyes wide. Konan gestured to the spot again. This time he went and sat down.

"Start talkin'," he told her.

"You see, out of a mutual respect for my fellow member, I said I would not tell what it was I offered you."

"Right….."

"But they went behind my back and went against me."

"Oh!" Hidan's eyes widened in realization. "But then...why you, Kakuzu?"

"I needed to buy a new door for the bathroom," he growled.

"Zetsu?" he asked.

"**Well, what can we say? **_Were bored_," they answered simply.

Hidan got it now. They wanted revenge as much as he did. And he was not in any position to refuse them.

"Here's the plan," Konan whispered to Hidan, handing him a video camera.

"No need to say more," Hidan said, taking the video camera from her out-stretched palm.

You know that saying "an eye for an eye"? Well, they were putting a little twist on it. This was going to be more like, "an arm for an eye". Because not only were they going to intrude on them, like they did to him. Nor, were they going to just take a picture. They were going to video tape it to.

They looked each other in the eyes and each knew what the others were thinking. Revenge.

All that was left was to figure out who the first target was going to be. After some debate, they decided in the order that they would strike in, and who they would each strike. Each had a video camera, so they could hit four people at once (then get the other two after). This was the plan:

Konan and Hidan were going to get two people each, because they were the ones that were affected the most by the others antics, while Kakuzu and Zetsu would only take one person. Then once they were all done, they would meet back up in Konan's room to decide what to do with the videos.

"I'll leave the door un-locked so you guys can get back in," Konan told them.

"We all know who were going to hit?" Hidan asked to make sure, and was re-assured when he saw three heads nod. "Ok then people, let's move out!"

Then the room was empty, for the ninjas had made the appropriate hands signs and had teleported to their pay-back destinations.

_**Somewhere within the base, outside of Deidara's bathroom…**_

Using his stealth Jutsu, Zetsu appeared in Deidara's bathroom without being seen or heard, for he instantly blended in with the pale peach walls. By the time he got there though, Deidara was already done bathing, the remains of his bath running down the drain. _Darn_… Zetsu thought. But then he saw something that would change his life forever more. There was Deidara standing in front of the mirror above the small porcelain sink, all in the bathroom looking normal- him wearing the standard issue Akatsuki bath robe (which is almost identical to the day cloaks except thinner and made of a softer material) and slippers- except for when Zetsu looked up at his head and saw _it_.

Deidara was having what you would call a 'bad hair day'… except about eighty times worse. His head looked like a giant blonde dandelion! His long hair sticking up and out all over his head as far the strands could go, in long frizzy tangles. You know how in cartoons when the characters get struck by lightning, how their hair looks? Well, double that and that's pretty close to what Zetsu was looking at.

Zetsu pulled the camera out of his pocket, all the while being careful to be quite and to keep the camera as camouflaged as he was. He then hit the _record _button. _Ohh, __**this is going to be good**__..._ Zetsu thought to himself.

"Darn it…., every time!" Deidara hissed angrily to his reflection, and the unnoticed Zetsu. He tried to attack it with a brush but… after a few moments it was practically _sucked _out of his hand by his hair! "Ahhhhh!" he yelled in frustration, throwing his head back and holding his forehead right under his hair-line.

Just then, another frustrated yell sounded through the halls of the base.

"DEIDARA!" the voice that was undoubtedly his Danna, screamed.

"WHAT?" Deidara screamed back turning his head towards the door, a frustrated look on his face. _What could he possibly want, hm? _He thought to himself.

"It happened again!"

"What? Again, hm?" _Not at a time like this, yeah!_ He thought, worried about his hair.

"Yeah, get over here and help me, brat!"

"No! That's like, the 8th time, hm!" hoping that comment would make his Danna stop asking for help, he yelled that back.

"You'd better help me, brat!" Sasori roared.  
_  
Oh no! What am I going to do?_ As a last ditch resort, he yelled, "Only if u admit my art is better, yeah!" he hoped he could use his Danna's pride against him.

"..." was the Puppet masters reply_. Ha! Bingo! I got out of having to show my hair! _Deidara thought, thinking he had saved himself from embarrassment. But what was yelled back by his master made his jaw drop and hit the floor.

"GRRR, FINE YOU STUPID BRAT! YOUR ART IS BETTER!" Sasori yelled in a _very_ frustrated tone.

_What the… why? Why now of all times did he have to go and do 'it'! _He screamed in his thoughts. He growled and rapped a towel around his head, and surprisingly it stayed. _Please, please, please, let this hold until I get back to this bathroom!_ He pleaded in his thoughts.

Then he turned, opened and ran out the door towards his master's bathroom.

_**My, my**_, _this is getting interesting_… Zetsu thought as he ran after Deidara, all the while keeping the camera on (earning himself a cool shot of Deidara running) and his Jutsu up.

**Chappie 2 done! And a cliff hanger to! Well I hoped u enjoyed it! But before u go I have 2 things to say:**

**The more you review the more jazzed up I get. The more jazzed up I get the better the chappie's will be! So always review!**

**I will have the next chapter up by the end of next week! I hope…. Well bye! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello, my faithful readers! I hope my stories have been meeting your standards thus far! I'm trying really hard! Once again I would like to thank Tigers-and-Dragons for all her help! And another thanks to all of you out there (and you know who you are) who have been helping me with all of my fan-fiction needs! I dedicate this chapter to all of you! Also I apologize for the late update! My charger broke so I couldn't get to my computer for a while! ^^ sorry!**

**Chapter 3: Wow… ok, did not see that one coming…. **

**_Once again somewhere in the base, outside of Sasori's bathroom…._**

Standing outside of Sasori's bathroom, Kakuzu attached his mini camera (I mean this thing was_ small_! It was the size of a really small pinky nail!) to one of the stitches from his arm. _Why_, he absent-mindedly thought to himself, _does Sasori even have a bathroom? I mean, he's a puppet! Does he even take baths or showers? _

He weaved a few hand signals and the stitch and camera became invisible. Silently he urged the stitch forward, and it made its way underneath the white door into the pale blue room beyond. Kakuzu pressed the _on_ button on the little monitor that had come with the camera so he could watch what was being filmed.

The first thing he saw was there was no bath tub or shower. There was only a small mirror hung on the wall opposite from the door, and underneath that a large tub-like metal container, which was filled with soapy water. Sasori was standing in front of the container, which was half as tall as he was but stretched almost three times as long. He was wearing his normal attire, black ninja pants and a black top with short fishnet sleeves, minus his cloak. Sasori's left arm (looking at him from behind) was not visible, so he guessed it was crossed over his chest. The right arm's hand was holding something long, thin and a dark beige color by his side.

Curious as to what he was holding Kakuzu zoomed the camera in, and then he realized it was Sasori's _arm_. Sasori had detached his arm and was now holding it over the sudsy water. He let it go, and the arm landed in the water with a soft _splash._

_Huh. I guess even puppets need a clean every now and again. _Well that was one question answered…..

But then something happened that would start a huge downward spiral. Sasori reached into the container to wash his arm when a small _pop!_ was heard throughout the bathroom. His other arm had _fallen off_. His joints must really need a wash if they were so dirty that they just fell off….. Kakuzu was trying hard not to laugh, muffling his chuckles behind his hand.

Now Sasori really had a problem on his hands, or rather off his hands now…. Well, whatever. He had a problem. But, Sasori could _not_ let anyone, under any circumstances, see him like this! Only one person could help him now:

"DEIDARA!" went his frustrated scream.

"WHAT?" came his partner's unusually frustrated reply.

"It's happened again!"

"What? Again, Hm?"

"Yeah, get over here and help me, brat!"

"No! That's like, the 8th time, hm!"

Ok, that one stung a little.

"You'd better help me, brat!" Sasori roared.

There were a few moments of silence. Then came the reply that made Sasori's jaw hit the floor. "Only if you admit my art is better, yeah!"

"..." was the Puppet masters reply. What was he going to do? He was in a lot of trouble unless Deidara helped him. So Sasori had no choice. He swallowed his pride and yelled, "GRRR, FINE YOU STUPID BRAT! YOUR ART IS BETTER!"

No reply came.

_He'd better_ _be on his way… _he thought to himself.

**_In the hall, outside of the bath room…._**

Kakuzu heard someone coming, so he quickly weaved a few hand signs and performed an invisibility jutsu. No less then five seconds later, a very frustrated looking Deidara, clad in a bath robe and with a towel on his head, ran straight past him into the bath room.

"**What happened** _in there_?" Kakuzu gave a start when Zetsu spoke, and then realised that he was standing right beside him.

"Oh, you would not believe what-" but he was suddenly cut off by a rather loud yell.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" two voices screamed in union.

"**What the heck?** _Quick, turn on the monitor!_" and so Kakuzu did.

**_Inside the bath room…_**

Diedara had just entered the bathroom to find an armless Sasori glaring dagger's at the sudsy water of his washing container. He had to hide his laugh behind his hand. He had to admit, his master looked kind of stupid. This had happened a few times before when they went on missions, and had no access to a bathroom. But it had never happened at the base before. He understood that, if anyone saw him, Sasori would be the laughingstock of the Akatsuki. So despite his hair issue (and because of the fact Sasori admitted his art was the better kind) he came to help.

Hearing his partner's poorly hidden laughter, Sasori turn his body and a sharp gaze towards Deidara.

"Finally! Could you have been any slower?" he growled through clenched teeth. He hated the look of amusement and superiority in his partner's eyes.

"Well, as you can plainly see," he said motioning to his robe and towel, "I was just finishing up my bath as well."

"Whatever brat, just come here and get my arms." Sasori ground out, venom dripping off his every word.

"Alright, alright, keep your arms on….. Oh, too late for that I guess." he joked as he walked pass the raging Sasori and to the container, a large smirk forming on his lips from the bad (very, _very_, bad) pun.

Putting his left arm on the side of the tub for support, he reached in with his right hand to fish the arms out. _Man, this thing is deep… _he thought as his hand just skimmed the surface of one of the arms. He reached in further, to the point where his face was just inches above the water; the arms had sunk to the bottom of the container. But little did he know that the entire time-from when he entered the bathroom up until now-that his head towel was slowly, ever so painfully slowly, falling off his head. And that leaning in so far only made the towel slip off faster.

Then, without any warning, it just (practically) sprang off his head! The room filled with his big poof of blonde hair. He staggered backward and, with a gasp, tripped over his own feet and fell to the ground, taking his Danna with him. They fell to the floor with a shout.

"WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" they both screamed.

**_Back outside the bathroom…._**

Kakuzu and Zetsu just stared at the little monitor. Kakuzu sent Zetsu a what-the-hell-is-up-with-Deidara's-hair kind of look, to which Zetsu answered with a why-is-Sasori-armless kind of look. "Touché, my plant friend, touché…," Kakuzu mumbled.

Quickly, before the two 'artists' could see it, Kakuzu withdrew the stitch. Laughing but trying to hide it, the two left the bumbling duo to try their best to get up, get out, and to reattach their arms, while they hurried on their way to Konan's open door.

**Well, how was it? Once again, I'm so so so so so sooooooooooo sorry I updated late. Please don't hate me….. TT-TT….. and review! I want to know how it was! As always, please, no flames, but constructive criticism is always welcome ^^! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Me: Hello once more dear readers! This editions victim will be Itachi! Ohh, what terrible fate awaits our favorite little weasel? Nothing to bad I hope….. go easy on the guy Konan-san!**

**Konan: We will see….*evil smirk* he did defy me after all….. **

**Me: *Gulps* uh oh… lets all pray for Itachi's safety folks! We don't want him gone before the story ends, now do we? ^^ Well, on with the story! Enjoy!**

**Chapter 4: The Weasel Is Bad To The Bone!**

**_In the base, inside a supply closet… _**

It was dark inside the supply closet when Konan poofed inside. Why, you might be wondering, did Konan poof her self into a closet? Well, it turned out that this supply closet was right across the hall from Itachi's bathroom and Itachi was the first of two on Konan's hit list.

By the way Kakuzu and Zetsu's chakras were moving farther away from Deidara's and Sasori's bathrooms and closer to her own room, she could rightly assume that they had completed their part of the mission. Now only she and Hidan had their parts left to do.

A single sheet of paper peeled off of Konan, folding itself into a butterfly. In the dim light, she carefully attached a mini camera, much like the one Kakuzu possessed, to the butterfly. She set the little monitor up and sat on the floor, her back against the wall. Once everything was set up, she sent the little butterfly under the crack between the door and the floor, and over across the hall to the mahogany door of Itachi's bathroom.

Hovering outside the door it fluttered silently sideways to the left, slipping through the little gap between the door hinges. Once in the bathroom the camera was blasted by steam. _Darn it all… _Konan swore to herself. One of the paper butterfly's wings folded over to wipe away the steam, to reveal a plain, white room. Everything was white; from the walls to the sink to the bathtub and the shower curtain.

Now, Konan could clearly see the steam coming from the shower, so it was kind of obvious he was, well, taking a shower. But the shower curtain was so thick she could barely see his silhouette. _Oh come on! _She silently yelled. There goes the plan, of getting an embarrassing video of Itachi, right out the window!

But little did Konan know that it was not what could be seen, but what could be _heard_, that would make for an embarrassing recording. Now lets all take a few moments to ponder what I mean by that, now shall we?

…

…

…

Have you figured it out? If not, here's your, and Konan's, answer. Just a brief moment after silently cursing the Gods for such horrible luck, Konan heard a single deep and smooth note drift its way through the monitors speakers. She scrambled on to her stomach and put her ear right up to the little device. It took her about three seconds to realize what she was hearing. Itachi was singing. In the shower. But oh no, the strangeness does not stop at the fact that the great Uchiha Itachi, slayer of his clan, wielder of the ever-powerful Mangekyō Sharingan, was singing in the shower. The strangeness goes even further, to the point where he was singing one of the best classic rock songs known to man. _**Bad to the Bone**_, by George Thorogood and the Destroyers. Konan couldn't decide whether to laugh or give a round of applause. Laugh: because the probability of something like this ever happening was so unlikely it was funny, or give a round of applause: because, well, he was actually pretty good. She thought that if any members of this organization were to sing it would probably sound like nails being dragged across a chalk-board or a dyeing animal. She knew that it applied in her case. You would not believe how many times Pein had told her while she was singing in the shower to take whatever dying animal she had locked in the bathroom outside and to keep it there. But that's getting off topic. Back to the story at hand. And in Itachi's case, she thought that his singing would sound like a dyeing weasel that was thrown through a window, screeching his lungs out while getting pierced with the shards of glass from the broken pane, then getting thrown through a wood-chipper (pun intended). But in actuality, his singing was deep and smooth, like a freshly polished gemstone. He started out soft and slow, the lyrics barely slipping past his lips loud enough to be heard, _**On the day I was born, the nurses all gathered 'round**__  
__**And they gazed in wide wonder, at the joy they had found**__  
__**The head nurse spoke up, and she said leave this one alone**__  
__**She could tell right away, that I was bad to the bone**_ and rose to its full richness and volume as the chorus approached, his voice becoming grittier and more forceful as he sung with increasing intensity. _**Bad to the bone**__  
__**Bad to the bone**__  
__**B-B-B-B-Bad to the bone**__  
__**B-B-B-B-Bad**__  
__**B-B-B-B-Bad**__  
__**Bad to the bone**_ Now if you've ever heard this song you would know that this was not exactly the way the original was, and still is, sung, but it was entertaining and beautiful in a new and inventive kind of way, if you get my drift. Konan was now unsure of what to do. The recording alone was enough to black-mail Itachi for the rest of his short and miserable life, but she wanted to add a little extra, to give it that final oompf. _**What can I do…**_ she wondered. _Inside the bathroom….._ Itachi, who was totally oblivious to the camera at that particular moment, was about to do something that would leave an awe struck Konan with answered prayers, a messed up bath room, and a mutilated bar of soap. He was still singing, and was starting on the second verse of the song.

_I broke a thousand hearts, before I met you__  
__I'll break a thousand more baby, before I am through__  
__I wanna be yours pretty baby, yours and yours alone__  
__I'm here to tell ya honey, that I'm bad to the bone_

_Aaaahhhhhh… a nice warm shower after a hard mission always feels nice…good thing my swim trunks were clean… _he thought happily.

Now, I bet you're wondering why Itachi was, in fact, showering with his swim trunks on. Well, if you were a part of an evil organization that's members were mostly immature ninja's with the emotional development of five year olds, then you would want to be cautious too. Plus, he didn't trust just locks to keep his privacy any more since the incident with Kisame and the fish-man's pogo stick (and I do mean the toy most five year olds play with, and not in an inappropriate sense, so stop it people with perverted minds)*.

And Itachi really did like to sing. He just loved the sense of freedom it gave him. It was almost like he could finally do something his way, not the way someone else wanted. But he knew that if any other members heard him he would probably A) be ridiculed for the rest of his short and miserable life, and B) he just didn't want any one to hear him. It's as simple as that. That's why he had the room sound-proofed**.

He stopped singing for a moment, just to close his eyes and give a little smile. He sighed. The warm water really did feel good…. He resumed his singing as he reached out for his lemon scented bar of soap.

_Bad to the bone__  
__B-B-B-Bad__  
__B-B-B-Bad__  
__B-B-B-Bad__  
__Bad to the bone_

But, as he put his hand on the soap holder that he had stuck to the side of the shower, he was dismayed to find his bar was not there! But, this wasn't enough to make Itachi stop singing. Oh no, he kept right on with his singing, keeping his voice loud and smooth as he stepped forward intending to turn the shower spray off for a moment to let the steam clear, and to enable himself to find the missing soap.

_I make a rich woman beg, I'll make a good woman steal__  
__I'll make an old woman blush, and make a young woman squeal__  
__I wanna be yours pretty baby, yours and yours alone__  
__I'm here to tell ya honey, that I'm ba-_

Poor Itachi never got to finish singing the song, for as he stepped forward, he stepped on the very bar of soap he was trying to find. He slipped backwards, and as he did not want to hit his head, he flailed his arms wildly, trying to find something to grab onto to regain his balance. As he was going down, he grabbed a hold of the shower curtain, tearing it from the rod it was hanging from. He hit the porcelain surface of the tub with a loud _thud_, and as he tried to stand up all he succeeded in doing was tangling his lower body in the shower curtain. As he struggled to untangle himself, he wound up tangling his right arm in the mess. And it did not help that his used-to-be bar of lemon soap, with real lemon extract, to give it the lemony fresh smell, was now plastered to his scalp.

As he was trying to untangle his now tangled arm, he did not notice the little yellow droplets running down his forehead and into his eyes.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed in pain. With his free hand, he vigorously rubbed his eyes, but that only made it worse. He hissed in pain and then gasped in shock as his door flew inwards. It hit the floor with a _bang_ to reveal a very worried looking Kisame, clad in only a fluffy white towel and his steel-toed boots.

"Itachi-san, are you all right? I heard a scream!" He asked, worry plain as day in his voice.

"No I'm not fine! I just destroyed my shower, I'm tangled in my shower curtain, I mutilated my favorite bar of soap, and now have that same _lemon _soap in my eyes!" He screamed at his partner, tears running down his face.

"Aw, hold on. I'll get you out of there." Kisame spoke softly to his partner. He walked over to Itachi, his steps making soft _click clack _sounds. When he reached his partner, he gently pulled up a weeping Uchiha.

"It's ok now, we can fix the bathroom later ok?" he was trying to comfort Itachi and to his great pleasure, it seemed to be working.

"O-Ok…" He sniffled.

"Kay." He ruffled the younger mans raven locks. "Now, let's get you out of that thing."

And he began the tedious task of untangling Itachi from the seemingly never-ending shower curtain.

**_Outside the bathroom, in the hall…._**

Hidan fell flat on his ass he was laughing so hard. He saw everything through the broken door frame. Thank Jashin for his new jutsu, which made him invisible and silent to the people of his choosing. And it turned out that Konan was not one of them.

She heard his loud laughter and in fear on the bathroom occupants hearing she quickly opened the door to the supply closet and dragged him inside. She was just getting over her own laughing fit and seeing Hidan in a hysterics did not help.

"Sh-sh-shut up Hidan!" she whispered frantically, trying not burst out laughing as well. His howls subsided and he wiped a few tears away. When his breathing and heart rate was back to normal, he began to talk.

"W-What the hell was that?" he whispered to Konan, trying hard not to laugh at the fresh memory.

"It will make more sense when you see the rest of my Itachi recording."

"Can I see it now?"

"No! I'm in a hurry. I have to finish this one up and move on to Pein-Sama!"

"Fine, Fine…"

"So, how did your first video come along?"

At that a large feral grin spread across his red-from-laughing-face. "You'll just have to wait and see, kid! You'll just have to wait and see!" and with that he poked her in the forehead, causing her to pout.

He gave a chuckle then weaved a few hand signs and winked at her, before he disappeared in a puff of smoke to the location of his next target: Tobi.

She huffed. Seeing as she was done here, Konan slipped the monitor in her cloak and recalled the butterfly (that had plastered itself to the wall so as to become invisible) back to her. She performed a few hand signs and gave a small giggle before she vanished, off to her next target, Pein-the Akatsuki leader.

**Well how was it? I really hope it was not too bad. For some reason it was hard to write for Itachi. And I apologize for the OOC-ness of both Itachi and Kisame but it had to be done for the story's sake!**

*** Sorry but it had to be done for the sake of keeping this story T rated**

**** And that's why no one heard his singing up till that point. And he must have screamed really loud to be heard through a sound proof room….**

**As always reviews are welcomed and appreciated and so is constructive criticism. But no flames!**

**And now I will do something I have never done before, so forgive me if I'm doing this wrong. Those of you who review this chapter will receive a cookie in the next chapter. Thanks AxelHarribel for the idea. **


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